We’ve all been there: you’re standing in a cold terminal, shoes off, belt gone, arms raised in a submissive "Y" shape while a stranger prepares to get more intimate with you than your last three dates combined. There’s that awkward second of eye contact right before the back of a hand makes contact with the "forbidden zone," and you find yourself wondering where exactly the professional boundaries end and the romance begins. Well, wonder no more! This shirt is the ultimate legal disclaimer for the frequent flyer who knows that what happens at the security checkpoint stays at the security checkpoint. It’s the perfect icebreaker for the terminal, the lounge, or just making the agent in line 4 crack a smile (or a very thorough secondary screening).

Aside from providing a much-needed laugh during a pat-down, this shirt is built for the long haul. We know that sitting in a middle seat for six hours is its own kind of punishment, so we’ve printed this on a heavyweight 100% cotton tee that’s actually breathable. The soft-touch print means you won't have a stiff, plastic shield on your chest while you're trying to nap on a neck pillow. Whether you're buying it as a gag gift for your favorite traveler or wearing it to manifest a shorter line at the body scanner, this tee is a certified travel essential. Just remember: it’s not official government business, but it is official comedy.