Description:
Why buy a coffee table book when you can own THE rock everyone’s talking about? Straight from the sacred lands of my driveway (very exclusive collection), this premium rock has all the vibes:
• Ethically sourced (from my yard, barefoot, in Anthropologie-approved linen).
• Hand-curated with natural distressing (a.k.a. rain + time).
• Features a timeless gray-beige hue that pairs well with any neutral-toned throw blanket.
• A solid investment—because unlike fast fashion, this rock will outlive us all.
• Perfect centerpiece for your boho shelf, minimalist altar, or TikTok flex.
✨ Bonus: If you squint at it in the right light, it kinda looks like it was carved by French artisans in 1872. (It wasn’t. But it COULD have been.)
Condition: Pre-loved. Some scuffs (aka natural patina) that only add character.
Price: $499 OBO (Anthropologie would list it at $895 minimum, so this is basically a STEAL).
Shipping: Heavy. Like, it’s a rock.