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(BANANA-SLAMMA!)

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Hey guys! It’s time to get tropical!

So you remember that one time America murdered thousands of native people in cold blood, literally just for a banana company?? No really… It happened. Look it up. And I mean we brutalized them. We’re a horrid country. This wasn’t even that long ago. On the other hand… We got tasty cheap nanners. And here’s the rub. If America didn’t steal that land and enslave those people at the end of a gun, Bananas today would be an expensive rare fruit. And our heath and lives would be poorer for it. That’s the cold hard truth of it. And you wanna know something? I’m a horrible person. Why? Because I look at what happened during the “banana wars” and I say… Ok! America did a really efffing terrible thing knowingly and willingly and they continue to do it to this day. But you know what? Given what it means now to us and my life and comfort… I have little choice to approve of what happened. Sorta.. I feel terrible and ashamed about what America did – but note it was a good move from an agricultural standpoint and it was critical for the benefit of the entire world that we did it. It’s the sole reason we have cheap and plentiful access to a critical top selling food now. No Americans starting a war over bananas = no bananas as a common food today. America is solely the reason we have such a wonderful thing today. That’s the cost. In blood. And I sadly have to approve of the ends even though I despise the means. And I therefore knowingly partake in the product of evil and acknowledge the concept of necessary evil resulting in a universal good. So make of that what you will. So I guess I match the evil that is. I am a flawed man. I just have to live with that.

 

-  So yeah! This is the end result of watching a ton of “Banana Wars” documentaries.   Enjoy!  

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Nanner Class Banana Wagon!

It's a real thing!

OMG!  This little wagon is a PAIN IN THE BUTT to make! The color yellow is expensive an extremely difficult to paint! And the new “cotton body” was custom made from nothing to all new and greatly improved specs! It took many many many tries to get one right! But I did it! It really does look like one of the old banana vans that would roll across the plantations being shot at by the indigenous and defended by the marines. Yes! The Marines! Look up “Marines Banana Wars” and listen to the story of them pushing these cars by hand because the tracks were sabotaged by freedom fighters. Then the Marines coming in guns blazing firing from the train like nutjobs, down the little streets as the entire town lit up with gunfire in a 2 way shooting gallery. It was truly nuts/ impressive regardless of right and wrong. I dunno. Hard to know who to back here. But I read a lot of the old reports and accounts and made this car from the technical descriptions as well a mix of actual cars and the visions in my head of a full train of these short vans being lead by a Jupiter for some reason, plowing through a rolling firefight with troops hanging off the sides. In a crazy way it was glorious.

 

Features:

Rolling Plastic wheels!

Open door and vents!

Working rapido compatible Balboa type free turning Couplers!

Includes: 

-1 Nanner Car 


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FAQ –Please read this!

It’s surprisingly helpful! 

So here’s a quick little FAQ in case you are new to how Catloafs function:

Q: What exactly am I buying?

A: Godzilla... No Just some plastic goods...    

Q: How will you send it to me?

A: Your item will arrive via a small bubble envelope.  

Q: How fast do I get my order?

A: About 3 - 4 weeks -PLEASE order with about a month in advance! Printing minis is a SLOW painful process thats far from automatic or perfect! 

Q: THAT'S TOO DAMN LONG TO WAIT! One order shouldn't take that long!

A:

One order does not! One batch of about +200... Does!

Q: Buy why does it take that long??? What's going on?

A: Well - life.... Bills ... Work... Staring into the Abyss... Slowly going mad with depression and anxiety.

Q: Buy why are you farming everything out now you lazy little bastar...

A: Though this process costs us more cash - It's actually a very efficient little operation. One that personally frees me up to have a job and even a small life -but more importantly... This farming out allows me to focus on my passion which is making more buildings! In short I got overwhelmed and wanted more time to spend in the act of creation. Which I few to be my calling!

Q: I still hate you and I don't want to wait that long! Can I message you demanding faster service or an immediate refund?

A:

Please... The ETA is set by the time we need and we ask you respect us and order with enough time in advance (again about a month) -Also though we always give small fun bonus sheets to make up for long waits!

 Q: I am still not happy and you are very rude to my impatience / stupidity! What do you have to say for yourself!

A:

 

Q: Do you offer custom buildings / Commissions?

A: Absolutely! Just message us for details!  

Q: I screwed up! Do you offer replacement parts?!   

A: Yes! But they are as costly as the item! So be CAREFUL!

Q: I got my item! Now what?   

A: Choke on it... No just kidding... play with it an enjoy you nutjob!

Q: What will I need?

A: Generally I'd say a good psychiatrist... No seriously - you're taking advice from a guy who plays with trains at 30? On the other hand - I'm a very happy man despite my nagging scene of impending doom. Maybe not having time to play with trains and enjoy life is why we get old and grumpy???

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Questions? Comments? Ideas? Feel free to stick your finger in a mouse tra... I mean.. contact us!

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PLEASE NOTE!

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All our models DO NOT COME WITH TRACKING. Please make note of that as we do not nor cannot provide tracking even if asked due to unavailability on envelope type. That service is not paid for and not included in "free" shipping. Which is offered for free thanks to this minimalist arrangement. Be sure to place your order in advance to give enough time for the order to come in! Also please note that our models are made of pla! Not steel or unobtainium! Handel with care!

 - ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!

That said we are always happy to replace any item on good faith as soon as we are alerted to any missing item! So please message us ASAP if you feel a delay as we are more than happy to help! Just tell us if for any reason repayments still do not arrive so we can try another method pronto! Thanks again!

Sorry to have to spell everything out in such dramatic and dragged out fashion. But there have been "some people" who are a constant reminder that god has a sense of humor. And to be fair the vast vast majority of our buys are both smart and on the level... It's just that we get the odd "intellectual giant" that can't read and hammers us without so much as mentioning there is a problem. And god knows ebay won't help -often sighting some line we need to put in somewhere or say multiple times for some reason... 

 

                                                                     

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:Terms Of Sale & Purchase Agreement:

 All Photography, icons, and products orientating with us is copyright Catloaf Farms and may not be used without permission. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. All conditions Subject to change without notice. Purchase constitutes acceptance of agreement. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Keep away from children. Do not eat item. In case of accidental injection consult a mortician. Not a Toy! Items are not microwave safe. - By purchasing this item you hereby agree to the following conditions. Any selling or reselling for profit is prohibited. Buyer will never institute any action or suit at law or in equity, nor institute, prosecute or in any way aid in the institution or prosecution of any claim, demand, action, or cause of action for damages, costs, loss of services, expenses, or compensation for or on account of any damage, loss or injury either to person or property, or both, whether developed or undeveloped, resulting or to result, known or unknown, past, present or future, arising out of purchase or ownership of item. Buyer agrees to contact seller before leaving any neutral feedback. Buyer will never leave rude or negative feedback. All sales are final unless returned properly. Buyer is solely liable for knowing and obeying all customs and trade laws of their own country before purchasing. We are not liable for items seized by customs or any costs or consequences as a result of seizure. By purchasing this item you acknowledge this item legal in your country or state etc. Any neutral or negative feedback WILL result in a permanent ban as well as storage and possible allocation of any acquired information. Buyer agrees to contact before negative feedback for resolution. Resolution may include refund and free resend of item not to exceed (3) attempts. Failure to abide by any of the states terms constitutes a breach of contract. Payment is due 24 hours after order is placed. Items shipped after payment is made. Late payment will result in late item. By purchasing this item you hereby state that you have carefully read, and agreed to our terms of sale and are hereby legally bound to this purchase agreement. Any purchase and ownership of this item without agreement to these terms is hereby illegal and fraudulent. Warning: Spelling errors in this message are the product of a poor school system. Pay teachures more than athletes.

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Personal thoughts:

 Life is crazy sometimes...And we all seem to be a mix of good an evil.