YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER.

I'M GOING TO SELL MY BIKE, AS TOO MANY GIRLS JUMP ME WHILE I'M RIDING, AND IT'S ILLEGAL TO HAVE A PASSENGER IN FRONT OF THE RIDER. COPS KEEP BUSTING ME WITH LIKE 6 HOTTIES GYRATING ON THE HANDLEBARS. IF I TOOK IT IN THE CITY I COULD POSSIBLY STEAL ALL THE LADIES IN THE CITY AND THEN HAVE HEAPS OF ANGRY MEN CHASING ME AS THEY'RE PISSED THAT THEIR DISHES ARE PILING UP.

BETTER DESCRIBE IT - LUCKY EBAY IS HERE TO HELP:

Vehicle condition: Describe what buyers can't see in your pictures. Was your vehicle smoked in? Does it have any mechanical problems?

• BUYERS CAN'T SEE THE MASSIVE HORSEPOWER AND QUE OF GIRLS LINED UP OUTSIDE MY PAD.

• WAS IT SMOKED IN? IT WAS SMOKED OUT! BIGGER BURNOUTS THAN CHARLIE SHEEN AND MORE SMOKE THAN COAL PLANT'S EXHAUST.

• THE MAIN MECHANICAL PROBLEM IS HANDLING THE WICKED POWER. IT'S GOT NOS, TURBO, SUPERCHARGER, HYPERCHARGER AND A BATTERY CHARGER. IT DOES BACKFLIPS AND BURNOUTS SIMULTANEOUSLY ON THE THROTTLE IN TOP GEAR WHEN YOU EVEN COCK YOUR EYE AT IT.

Distinguishing features: List all of the features, options, and accessories that you did not select above.

• HOW ARE TYRES BIGGER THAN YOUR MUM FOR DISTINGUISHABLE? 

• IT FEATURES A BIG, CURVY REAR END AND HEAPS OF GAS. THAT'S A RECIPE FOR SUCCESS.
  

• IT HAS THE OPTION OF WET HANDLEBARS, OR I CAN DRY THEM FOR YOU.

• HAS MAD ACCESSORIES LIKE A FULL FAIRING, CUP HOLDER, SEAT WARMER ETC BUT NONE OF THEM ARE BEING SOLD WITH THE BIKE.

History of ownership: Are you the original owner? If not, where did you get the car from?

• THE ORIGINAL OWNER WAS FOUND WHIMPERING IN AN ALLEY, SUFFERING BLUE BALLS. SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T PUMP AS HARD AS THIS BIKE'S PISTON.

• IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHERE I GOT MY CAR FROM.

Postage and payment: Describe how you'll complete the sale. Can the vehicle be picked up from you? Detail your payment requirements, including payment timelines.

• I'LL COMPLETE THE SALE WITH A HIGH 5, DOW LOW, TOO SLOW!
  

THIS BIKE IS SICKER THAN A GEMINI WITH A SPORTS EXHAUST.

Fixed my CAPS LOCK, NO WAIT IT HAS BROKEN AGAIN.

PRICE NEG