"Sweet Suffering", by Dr.Shainess, is anything but sweet. The book
chronicles the etiology of Masochism and its structure of defense. If
you are looking for excitement, adventure, joy, or romance, you won't
find them here. What you will find is a fine tuned description of a
personality disorder which wreaks havoc on the lives of those who suffer
from it. Masochism is a debilitating disorder for many reasons.
Dr.Shainess provides numerous case histories and examples from personal
experience. Her goal is to alert the reader to the multifaceted ways the
masochist undermines her own best interests over and over again,
reinforcing the very pathology that initiated her turmoil. Within the
context of a disturbed and disturbing, mother-daughter matrix, we
discover that the tools needed for a mature adjustment are deformed in
an effort by the child to avert further rejection. A pleasing facade
covers over and over again, the true spirit of a child whose only flaw
is her humanity. Cold, indifferent, hostile, rejecting, neglectful,
angry, you can choose your poison. Dr. Shainess does a superb job in
serving up to us the numerous ways the 'food' of deception and betrayal
are administered by those who wield the power. Writing beautifully
about a not so beautiful topic, is an art, and Dr. Shainess is an
artist. She brings you a microscopic view of the subtleties of the
sado-masochistic dynamic. Through her lens you can see for yourself how
pathology is perpetuated by denial and repression. Rather than
developing a sense of trust (Basic Trust) fear and depression become
pervasive. The infantile core of the personality is damaged. Fear,
loneliness, helplessness and depression result. Dr. Shainess wants to
liberate the sufferer from the torment stemming from her early history
and she does this effectively by simply telling us the truth. --------Phyllis Antebi, PhD